Setback vs. Setup

“Whether you think you can or cannot, you are always right” – Henry Ford.

What is the story you tell yourself when faced with adversity? Is it that of a setback or that of a setup?

For the sake of brevity, I took out the qualifier “may or might or tend to” from the statements below. Also, in reality, these scenarios are probably not so black and white but more of a spectrum between two extremes. As individuals, we may even oscillate between these aspects from time to time. The comparison below is not meant to be prescriptive or definitive, but simply an illustration to draw a contrast between two extreme mindsets.

When you view adversity as a SETBACK: You feel sorry for yourself. You victimize yourself. You feel upset, and frustrated. You cry and you complain. You feel entitled. You want someone else to provide a solution or wait for the situation to fix itself. You feel doomed. You feel pessimistic about your future. You see it as a permanent roadblock that is preventing you from succeeding to the next stage in life. You put blame on others or something else. You feel like someone is doing this to you on purpose. You feel stuck. You feel there is nothing in your control. You focus on what you have lost or what’s not working. You are fixated on the setback and just want to make it go away.

When you view adversity as a SETUP: You see adversity as an opportunity. You feel optimistic about your future. You believe there is a purpose behind it. You view it as a necessary nudge to get you to the next stage of your life. You see this as a temporary phase of your life. You realize there is growth through the pain. You smile and you take things in your stride. You adapt to whatever you are facing. You stand up to the challenge. You find a work around or a way to make things work, to make progress, one step at a time. You believe in your ability to move past this adversity. You persevere, focusing on what is in your control. You focus on what you still have and what you can do with it.

Regardless of where you’re at on the spectrum between the above extremes, I hope you can push yourself to focus on overcoming the challenges you face today or better still, embrace them as an opportunity. Even if a lot of things are currently outside your control, I hope you’ll be able to latch on to those that are.

Because, just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.